Micah's Read of the Week, Vol. 14

Dwight Schrute was a warning, R.I.P. Billy Joe Shaver, Khabib’s legacy, Micah's Whole30 Journey, Seasonal Cocktail Recipes, a few interesting pieces about the election, and more.

Hello, and welcome to Micah’s Read of the Week.

This is a newsletter filled with things Micah Wiener finds interesting.

Check out the introduction post here, and the entire archive of previous newsletters here.

Please, subscribe and share with a friend.

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Dwight Schrute Was a Warning

When The Office originally aired, its resident fool made for easy comedy. Fifteen years later, it’s hard to watch Dwight without seeing tragedy.

This is a fascinating piece about The Office.

Dwight, Dunder Mifflin’s best-performing paper salesman and its worst-performing person, is a category error in human form. He is a beet farmer in a corporate park, a survivalist selling office products, a 19th-century spirit in a 21st-century timeline. He is arrogant. He is, relatedly, a buffoon. “INCORRECT,” he will say about something that is true. “FACT,” he will say about something that is not. He listens to metal but plays the recorder. He defers to the rules right up until he breaks them. Dwight is Darwinism with a desk job. He is anarchy in the guise of law. He is tragedy and he is comedy, and because of that he is intensely cathartic to watch. Many fictions speak to this moment. Dwight K. Schrute, however, inhabits it.

In season five, Dwight takes it upon himself to give his colleagues a lesson about fire safety. Summoning the show’s roving camera to document the education he is about to impose, Dwight tosses a lit cigarette into a wastebasket he has doused with lighter fluid. “Today,” he says, “smoking is gonna save lives.”

This surprise tutorial goes ... very badly. As soon as they notice the smoke billowing out from under a hallway door, Dwight’s co-workers do exactly what they should during such an emergency—call for help, check for escape routes—only to discover that their phone lines have been cut (by Dwight) and their doors locked (Dwight again). “Okay, we’re trapped! Everyone for himself!” Michael screams.

The smoke is getting worse. Dwight, to heighten the panic, sets off fireworks in the middle of the bullpen. “The fire is shooting at us!” Andy screams. “What in the name of God is going on?” Phyllis wails.

What viewers know—and what the workers of Dunder Mifflin soon find out—is that the answer is Dwight: Dwight is going on. Here is Dwight’s defining paternalism turned into a source of injury. Here is Dwight revealing the error of a familiar refrain: He’s too incompetent to be dangerous. Dwight’s safety training is so unsafe that it ends up giving Stanley a heart attack.

To be in Dwight’s vicinity is to be at risk, always, of becoming collateral damage.

Late in the series, he realizes his professional dream: He becomes the office’s acting manager. He promptly turns the place into a totalitarian regime in miniature (time cards for salaried workers, forced recitations of the Pledge of Allegiance, a framed portrait of himself installed in the reception area). And then, walking around the crowded bullpen with a loaded gun, Dwight accidentally fires the weapon.

The bullet hits the floor. But Dwight, having put all of his colleagues into needless mortal danger, is quickly demoted. The injury he has caused, this time around, is one he has inflicted on himself.

Read the rest of it.

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Texas Music Corner

R.I.P. Billy Joe Shaver

Another week, another Texas legend gone.

When I told my fiance that BJS died, she asked “who’s that?”

My response: “A Texas singer and songwriter known as the Wacko from Waco. He wrote “Honky Tonk Heroes” for Waylon Jennings. He had only 2.5 fingers on one hand. Had a heart attack onstage. He also shot some dude in the face outside a bar.”

Damn, that’s an interesting character. From Texas Monthly:

Shaver wrote indelible songs that turned the heads of songwriters such as Willie, Waylon Jennings, and Kris Kristofferson. “I Been to Georgia on a Fast Train,” ”Honky Tonk Heroes,” and “Live Forever” have become classics oft-recorded by the likes of Johnny Cash.

“Georgia on a Fast Train” is my favorite. The autobiographical lyrics make you shake your head and think, damn this is good.

Yeah it's hurry up and wait, in this world of give and take
Seems like haste makes for waste every time
And I pray to my soul, when you hear those ages roll
You better know I'm gonna get my share of mine

I've been to Georgia on a fast train honey
I wudn't born no yestday
Got a good Christian raisin' and an eighth grade education
Ain't no need in y'all a treatin' me this way

Rest in peace.

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Jerry Jeff Walker Remembered

We spent a big portion of last week’s newsletter talking about the passing of JJW. This Texas Monthly piece collects a bunch of tributes from artists and friends.

From Robert Earl Keen:

His music was what led me to the well-worn bridge that spans the wide chasm from music lover to music maker. For that, I’m eternally grateful to the man and his music.

Lyle Lovett:

Willie and Jerry Jeff were corner posts for my early appreciation of Texas music, but they were corner posts on diagonal ends of the field from one another. Willie is a Texan. Jerry Jeff adopted Texas and he underscored aspects of Texas, our culture, that people from here too often take for granted. Seeing it from an outsider’s point of view, he had such enthusiasm. He could have lived anywhere and been successful, so we’re lucky he picked Texas and loved it as much as he did.

Jerry Jeff was a deep songwriter. He had a quality that’s so important for artists to have—distinctiveness. You knew it was Jerry Jeff Walker as soon as you heard him sing a note, and his style was so strong that he inhabited every corner of every lyric and every note.

Dan Rather:

One of the things that always impressed me about him was his deep knowledge and appreciation for basketball. It turned out that he was a high school basketball star. If you listen to “Mr. Bojangles,” maybe you don’t get the vibe that this guy was high school basketball star, but somewhere in upstate New York, his team won a state championship and it left an indelible imprint on him. He particularly liked college basketball and every year for the NCAA tournament, he would invite me over to his house. He had kind of a man cave upstairs at his home and he would watch one March Madness game after another. And he could give you six reasons a pick and roll was not working. And he immediately recognized when one team went to a box-and-one or triangle-and-two defense. He was a near professional grade commentator. He was passionate about so many things.

He appreciated Texas culture so much. It’s a cliché, but they say a convert to Catholicism, or any religion, is sometimes more passionate about it than those who were born into it. And that was the case with Jerry Jeff and Texas. It was a late love but, aside from Susan, his first love.

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Podcast of the Week

Texas Monthly has a new podcast about Willie. It’s an interview series where the host asks a different musician about their favorite Willie song. It’s fun. The latest episode with Jack Ingram is quite entertaining. Don’t miss the story about playing “I’d Have To Be Crazy,” for George H. W. Bush. Check it out on Spotify above, or on Apple Podcasts here.

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Sports!

Lede of the Week

The World Series ended this week. Congratulations to the Dodgers.

This piece from Jeff Passan was outstanding.

ARLINGTON, Texas -- In this oddest of years, this most peculiar of baseball seasons, there was perhaps no more telling snapshot of the United States, circa 2020, than a COVID-19-positive man sitting on the ground, maskless, next to a cancer survivor, maskless as well, with indelible grins spread across their faces. Sports is and always will be a metaphor for society.

The Los Angeles Dodgers won the World Series on Tuesday night, and in the moments after, the world learned that Justin Turner, the team's third baseman and pulse of the clubhouse, had contracted the coronavirus. Turner was asked to isolate. He did not abide. He strode onto the field, where his teammates were celebrating their 3-1 victory over the Tampa Bay Rays in Game 6, and joined. He removed his mask to pose for pictures with his wife, whom he kissed. He planted himself on the ground as the team gathered for a photo to commemorate the Dodgers' first championship in 32 years. To his right sat Dave Roberts, the Dodgers' manager, who 10 years ago was diagnosed with Hodgkin lymphoma. To Turner's left, gleaming, sat the World Series trophy.

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Khabib’s legacy

Khabib Nurmagomedov beat Justin Gaethje last weekend at UFC 254. After the fight, he collapsed in tears and later retired from the sport. His career record of 29-0 is obviously extremely impressive, filled with impressive and dominant wins over elite competition.

This story takes a look at his legacy and why it may be more complicated than expected. Khabib’s dominance was straightforward, his legacy is anything but:

Beyond his athletic accomplishments and stardom, Nurmagomedov has also made headlines for a list of controversies, including a longstanding affiliation with Chechnya’s dictator, Ramzan Kadyrov – the murderous tyrant known for oppressing his people and pursuing anti-gay purges among Chechnya’s LGBTQ+ community.

Over the past few years, Kadyrov has invited Nurmagomedov to host a training seminar at the dictator’s Akhmat MMA fight club, the training facility funded by Kadyrov himself; invited him to attend several Akhmat MMA shows as his guest of honor; gifted Nurmagomedov and his father luxury cars; and made the UFC champion an honorary citizen of Chechnya. Nurmagomedov even went so far as to promote Kadyrov as a strong leader during a border dispute between Chechnya and Dagestan.

While Nurmagomedov’s association with Kadyrov may not be entirely reflective of the fighter’s personal politics, he has allowed himself to be co-opted by a dictator who uses his relationships with athletes to rebrand himself as a magnanimous, sports-loving leader and to distract from his human rights abuses.

Nurmagomedov has also affiliated with other authoritarian regimes, including the Kingdom of Bahrain through one of the monarchy’s princes, Sheikh Khalid bin Hamad Al Khalifa. In 2015, Nurmagomedov joined KHK MMA, an MMA training facility funded by the prince himself, and represented the organization for the better part of a year.

Following Nurmagomedov’s highly publicized victory against disgraced UFC star Conor McGregor, the UFC champion cemented his place as one of the world’s most popular Muslim athletes, as well as one of the most influential celebrities in Russia. Nurmagomedov subsequently used this influence to further his ultra-conservative worldview, including to campaign against cultural events that took place in his native Dagestan. In 2018, he suggested closing all nightclubs in his native republic and criticized a rap concert that took place in Makhackala, Dagestan, which resulted in rapper Egor Kreed canceling his performances in the conservative republic after being threatened with rape. When Nurmagomedov was asked to share his thoughts on the event cancelation, he stated that losing the event was “no great loss”.

We, as a global society, have long held combat sports athletes to a different standard than other entertainers. Mike Tyson used “The Hangover” to transition into America’s most beloved convicted rapist. Floyd Mayweahter’s track record is filled with domestic abuse convictions. It’s difficult to imagine any NFL team signing a player who spent time in jail for domestic violence, yet Mayweather shows up on ESPN to promote fights and there’s no mention of his past. Conor McGreggor has more than his fair share of violent incidents on his track record, yet he remains the world’s largest draw.

I mention all this because Khabib’s questionable choices are far from unprecedented, even for a universally-loved GOAT. From the piece:

It should be noted that Nurmagomedov is not the only dominant athlete with a complicated legacy. Muhammad Ali – arguably the most beloved athlete of all time – was once the guest of Mobutu Sese Seko, the Zaire dictator who amassed $15bn in personal wealth while his country was facing human rights violations and extreme poverty. Ali stayed at Seko’s mansion ahead of the Rumble in the Jungle fight in 1974. On fight night, Seko executed 100 criminals and held hundreds more in rooms under the stadium.

While Ali’s friendly ties to a vicious dictator did not define his legacy, it is important to understand how some of his most infamous bouts helped prop up authoritarian regimes. The same applies to Nurmagomedov, whose athletic career took place against a backdrop of controversy. This does not change his athletic achievements, but complicates his legacy as one of the great athletes of all time.

Khabib’s retirement may be temporary, as combat sports athletes are notorious for coming back. I too am currently retired from MMA, but I will consider a return if Dana White calls and offers me $30M to fight Conor. Note: if anyone wants to offer me several million dollars, my contact information is below.

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Micah’s Whole30 journey is over

As discussed in this space, the fiance and I spent October participating in the Whole30 diet. It’s a restrictive diet that forbids a lot of things, but most notably: dairy, alcohol, sugar, and grain.

Friday was the 30th day of the challenge. We did cheat once, a couple of weeks ago when we celebrated our original wedding date with a steak dinner.

How did we “break” Whole30? We picked up this insane egg, sausage, and cheese biscuit sandwich from Little Ola’s Biscuits. As I ordered online, I noticed they were running a promotion that offered a free hot toddy with all food orders.

Look at that beautiful thing. Good lord, it was tasty.

And, it was weirdly satisfying to break Whole30 with a breakfast that included dairy, sugar, grain, and alcohol. We earned it.

I like Whole30. I’ll do it again. I dropped a few. I feel good, and Caitlin and I both feel like our skin looks noticeably better than before. Of the four banned categories, I was surprised by how much I craved sugar. I don’t really have a sweet tooth normally, but throughout the month I caught myself inhaling raisins like a fiend.

Anyway, go to Ola’s and get that biscuit. You won’t regret it.

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It’s Fall and Whole30 is over, so let’s make some cocktails

Christmas Punch

I like to make punch for parties. It’s fun! It’s pretty. It’s playful. It’s old-school. Plus, they are versatile. As the night goes on, if people enjoy your punch, then the punch will change. And that’s ok! If you run out of gin, just pour in some vodka. Out of grapefruit juice, orange will work fine.

This recipe is called Christmas Punch, but it’s got cranberries, so Micah says it’s good anytime between now and the end of the year.

• FOR THE SYRUP

• 3 cups sugar

• 3 cups water

• 1 1/2 cups fresh cranberries

• Peel (no pith) of 1 ruby red grapefruit

• 2 teaspoons peeled, grated ginger root

• 1 cinnamon stick (3 inches)

• FOR THE PUNCH

• 2 cups syrup (see above)

• 2 cups pink grapefruit juice

• 2 cups (16 ounces) Fords gin (may substitute other London dry gin)

• 1/4 cup fresh cranberries, for garnish

• 8 dashes Angostura bitters

• 8 dashes Fee Brothers grapefruit bitters

• 3 sprigs rosemary

• 1 large block ice, for serving (see headnote)

• 2 cups (16 ounces) sparkling wine
  For the syrup: Combine the sugar, water, cranberries, grapefruit peel, ginger and cinnamon stick in a medium saucepan over medium-high heat; cover and cook for about 20 minutes, until the sugar has dissolved, the cranberries have burst and the mixture has thickened a bit. Remove from the heat.

  Strain through a fine-mesh strainer into a large container or 750-milliliter bottle, pressing on the solids to extract as much syrup as possible. Discard the solids. The yield is a scant 4 cups. Cool, then refrigerate until ready to use.

  For the punch: Combine 2 cups of the syrup, the grapefruit juice, gin and cranberries in a punch bowl. Add the two types of bitters.

  Clap the rosemary between your palms to release its aroma, then add it to the punch bowl. Stir to incorporate, then carefully add the block of ice. Allow the flavors to meld for 15 minutes, then add the sparkling wine just before serving.

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Apple Toddy

Toddy SZN is upon us. I had one Saturday. It was delightful. This recipe incorporates some baked apples and calls for brandy, but you know I’m sticking with Bourbon or Rye.

INGREDIENTS

• 15 ounces (2 cups minus 2 tablespoons) hot water, just boiled, plus more to warm the mugs

• 4 teaspoons sugar

• 2 peeled and cored baked apples

• 6 ounces applejack or apple brandy

• Freshly grated nutmeg, for garnish

Bake the apples in a 325-degree oven for about 30 minutes, until softened.

Warm 4 mugs with a little of the just-boiled water; swirl and discard.

Combine the sugar with a splash (about 1 ounce) of the just-boiled water in a medium bowl, stirring to dissolve. Add the baked apples; muddle them thoroughly. Add the applejack or apple brandy and mix well, then stir in 12 ounces of the water.

Use a fine-mesh strainer to immediately strain equal portions of the liquid into the 4 mugs, discarding the solids. Top each portion with 1/2 ounce of hot water, and stir.

Sprinkle with nutmeg. Serve immediately.

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Perhaps you’ve heard that tomorrow is Election Day

I’ve spent way too much time the past few weeks thinking about what to publish in this space the day before the latest “Most Important Election of our Lifetimes.”

I’ll spare you the editorial. Below is a list of articles I’ve found fascinating. Some are new, some are months old. I found them insightful, smart, well-written, and scary, but above all, I found them interesting.

• The Grand Old Meltdown- What happens when a party gives up on ideas?

• Win or Lose, It’s Donald Trump’s Republican Party

• An Ex-Republican Strategist Surveys the Wreckage of Trump’s GOP.

• Melania’s Plastic Camelot

• I’m a pro-life evangelical. In supporting Trump, my movement sold its soul.

• Trump’s campaign lures donors with absurd financial promises — and insults

VOTE.

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Tweet of the Week

Watch ‘til the end.

hayley kosan? why, shes been dead for 10 years... @WiseOldBitch

my wiife loves when i do borat

Very nice.

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Where else can I find Micah content?

• Podcasts: Mind of Micah, Back Door Cover, Too Much Dip

• Twitter: @micahwiener & @producermicah (Why two twitters? It’s a long story)

• Instagram: @micahwiener

• LinkedIn: @micahwiener

• Peloton: #badboysofpelly@micahwiener

• Email: micahwiener@me.com

Until next time, buh-bye.