Micah's Read of the Week, Vol. 18
More Cazzie & Larry David, Four Loko, a couple of feel-good stories, a nice piece of fish, a warning to our Canadian readers, and more.
Hello, and welcome to Micah’s Read of the Week.
This is a newsletter filled with things Micah Wiener finds interesting.
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How about some more from Cazzie & Larry David?
Two weeks ago, we featured Ms. David, who is promoting a book made up of a series of essays about mental health, love, and other stuff.
This week, we get a piece from something called airmail.com about what it’s like to have Larry David as a roommate. As long suspected, it turns out, Larry and my parents share a similar view on the security of their homes.
My father, a pretty well-known guy living in a large city, acts like he’s a farmer living up in the secluded mountains of Montana, except I have the impression that most farmers at least own a gun. My dad prefers no security whatsoever. Unless I take it upon myself, doors and windows are left unlocked and the alarm system that is in perfect working condition remains unused. When I tell him that a lot of famous people have a security person and that even most non-famous people have cameras outside their homes, he scoffs. “Who do they think they are?! Yeah, OOOOH, we’re all out to get you! Ridiculous! No one cares!”
I know I’m particularly paranoid, but I think it’s entirely rational for me to want to sleep with our alarm system on. Alas, all it took was one night of the alarm going off accidentally for my dad to decide that not only do alarm systems not work, but “they are accidents waiting to happen.”
Sounds about right.
Cazzie shares that she often lost her house key and had to call her father 20 times to be let into the house. Larry to the rescue:
I came home to find the lock on the front door removed and replaced with a door code. A door code. Like it was a goddamn therapist’s office. I gasped and rang the doorbell five times in a row. My dad opened the door as wide as his arm was able to stretch, his face beaming with joy. “WELL, WELL, WELL, LOOK WHO IT IS! WELCOME HOME!” he said. “Father,” I said, trying to suppress a smile I had only because his was contagious. “ARE YOU SEEING THIS BEAUTY?!” he said, gesturing to the door code. “HOW ABOUT THIS BEAUTY?!” “Dad. What. Is. This?” “NO MORE LOOKING FOR YOUR KEY. NO MORE LOOKING AROUND THE HOUSE AND CAR FOR THE KEY. NO MORE LOOKING THROUGH DRAWERS. ONE CODE. NEVER LOCKED OUT AGAIN.”
I’d never felt more unsafe in my life. Going to sleep every night when you’re as fearful as I am but also live with a dad who has a shocking alter ego of a free spirit is nerve-racking, to say the least. He takes what looks like 50 supplements every single day and hasn’t had sugar in 15 years. The man would sit in a cryo-chamber for six days straight if someone showed him a study that said it might prevent illness. But he will take absolutely no precautions to ensure neither of us gets murdered.
Of course, Larry gets the last word:
When I tried to talk to him about how unsafe I felt, he made me feel like a true piece of shit. “You think you’re so special that out of everyone on the planet, someone is going to choose to come kill or kidnap you?” Then he gestured to the door code. “And how could this possibly make you feel unsafe?”
If you’re not hearing Larry’s voice when you read these LD quotes, I don’t know what’s wrong with you.
Micah’s Read of the Week
Coming this week to the Mind of Micah podcast, we share The Oral History of Four Loko in New York. “It almost felt like liquid hyperbole. It was fucking insane on every level.”
Subscribe to Mind of Micah on iTunes or Spotify and share this insane tale with a degerate who drank the stuff.
While we’re talking about the podcast, I’d love to hear from you. Call our hotline: 800.392.6344 and ask a question. If I like it, I’ll feature it on the show.
A Conversation with Brian Dennehy
This comes from author Will Harris. Dennehy died this year, so Harris published this unfinished conversation, and boy is it good. The two go through his entire career in acting. I would suggest you check out the whole thing. Highlights below.
On Rambo: First Blood:
Yeah, you know, what's interesting about that... People run them all together, but that one - First Blood, which was directed by Ted Kotcheff, who did a brilliant job - essentially created the mold by which Stallone could make a fortune doing all the other ones.
In fact, Stallone was supposed to get killed at the end of it, and they were about six weeks into production when the producers, looking at dailies, said, "He's not getting killed in this picture. Maybe he can get killed in number eight...but he's not getting killed in this one!" And Stallone learned a lesson, which he has followed up with The Expendables, which is that if you have a good formula, just mix it again and put a little less sugar in it this time, or maybe a couple of raisins, and serve it. People will still snap it up!
Tommy Boy:
That kid was a genius. It was a shame he was so self-destructive. I mean, you know, I... [Exhales.] I've been known to be a little self-destructive myself, but, boy, he was miles ahead of me. But a nice kid. And a wonderful family! He had a great family who he was very close to. His mother, his father, his brothers, his sister. But he was determined to pattern himself after John Belushi, and he did, right to the end. But he was very, very funny. A very funny kid.
From what I've read, it seemed like he was always out to impress everyone. He legitimately just wanted to impress people by showing them what he could do.
That's exactly what actors are! [Laughs.] That's what all actors do! Fucking Ian McKellen does the same thing! I mean, it may be a more sophisticated impression you're trying to create, but it's the same bullshit.
Yeah, Spade's a good guy. And very talented, very funny. He can come up with that kind of wry, funny misplaced pompousness that he has within himself. It's a very clever little character he's created. People love him. We all knew that Chris was imploding, that he was going downhill, but I remember when I called Spade... I'd seen Chris in something, and he looked awful. This was a couple of months before he died. I said, "I saw Chris, and goddammit..." He said, "Look, I can't do anything! I've tried, and I can't do anything about it, so people have got to stop making me feel guilty about it, because he won't listen to me, either!"
On Phillip Seymour Hoffman:
Phil Hoffman was sober for 20 years. He was the youngest person I've ever known who was in AA. I think he was in AA when he was 17 or 18. And he had 20+ years of sobriety. He was obviously always fighting it, you know. I mean, I have my own personal point of view about that. I think that Phil was convinced that if he could become a successful actor with money and awards, then it would all bring him to a point where he could be happy, where he could enjoy himself and his work. And when it didn't work out that way...
It never does, because happiness is not some roll of the dice, it's a switch you turn on inside yourself. You either say, "Well, I'm going to be happy," or you say, "I'm not going to be happy." And he said the latter. And it was such a complete total fucking waste. An infuriating waste. I did eight months with him in A Long Day's Journey into Night. He was an extraordinary force onstage. As he was himself. He just couldn't get rid of his demons. And sure enough, they showed up again, right out of the blue. Somebody called me up and said, "He's drinking again." I said, "He can't be drinking again!" And it was a hop, skip, and a jump from that to the bloated needle that was still in his arm when they found his body.
Sorry, that got dark. Here’s the closing on a possible sequel to 1985’s Silverado:
So my agent, my beloved Susan [Smith], who's dead now, she called Larry Kasdan and said, "Well, Brian would certainly love to be in the sequel!" And Kasdan says, "But he got killed in the first movie!" And she never missed a step: she said, "Well, maybe he has a twin riding in from California!" [Laughs.] Agents can't be kept down. You can try, but you can't keep 'em down. Anyway, it never got made. And when I die, I'll have it chiseled on my headstone...if I have a headstone... Well, I'll at least have a headstone, even if they burn me! But the epitaph will be, “It was a good idea, but it never got made.”
Rest in peace.
The Cowboys are a bunch of dogs who ruined Thanksgiving for many. But, Aldon Smith is a feel-good story.
Here’s a nice story about how NFL defensive end Aldon Smith returned to the league after four years away battling mental health and substance issues. This is a heck of a lede:
The package arrived in February, delivered to Yves Cachuela about a decade after the explosion. He held the envelope with a nerve-damaged grip and unsealed his Purple Heart, the medal providing a sense of validation for the medically retired Marine corporal.
Cachuela then passed it forward. On May 4, he gave his Purple Heart to a civilian whose strength and resilience inspired him.
Aldon Smith.
The Cowboys defensive end’s bedroom in the Dallas area includes all the standard stuff you’d expect of an NFL athlete. But near a trophy and decorative game balls sits a Purple Heart. It reflects the adverse path he has walked, a journey to overcome alcohol dependency, childhood trauma and depression that Smith hopes can inspire others.
Things got dark for the talented star.
He received a $9 million bonus upon signing his 2011 rookie contract, and he played in the Super Bowl his second NFL season. Last year, he worked in Kansas City — as the Chiefs prepared for their Super Bowl title run — detailing vehicles at a car dealership. He struggled to deposit initial paychecks; a passport was his only form of identification, and it had expired.
Smith estimates more than 30 people he’s cared for have died over the past handful of years by suicide or overdose. Among them was a woman he dated who took her own life in 2018, he said. That year was perhaps his darkest.
Smith was arrested four times. In April 2018, because of a violated court order pertaining to an alcohol-intake ankle monitor, he spent 11 days in solitary confinement inside San Francisco County Jail 4, a facility so dilapidated it was shut down this year. He was allowed to read books and take an occasional three-minute shower. When he called his mother, he asked her what day it was.
He spent one night beneath his car. He owned a home and had a second place where he could stay but felt too low and lost for sleeping arrangements to matter.
Smith had an extremely close bond with his grandmother. During their final encounter in 2018, she implored him to straighten out his life. She died in August 2019 from ALS-related complications.
Not everything in 2020 is bad. Here’s a hopeful message from Smith:
He often tells people he didn’t hit rock bottom when out of the NFL the previous four-plus years. He hit rock bottom and kept plunging, reaching a depth below the surface where light cannot reach. He sank into darkness without tools to resurface.
“I was in a bad place,” Smith said. “For anybody who listens to this story, who reads it, if you have been in a place where you can’t see anything other than the situation you’re dealing with and then things just pile up to a point where you lose hope, that’s what happened. I lost hope.
“Being in a place now where I have everything back and it’s better than it was before, I’m just grateful for being able to see the light.”
Here’s another feel-good sports story
We won’t spend much time talking about college basketball in this space. But this story is incredible. Click the tweet above to hear the story, or read below from For the Win:
There are Cinderalla stories in sports, and then there’s Ohio point guard Jason Preston’s story. It’s absolutely incredible.
Preston had the biggest game of his career against No. 8 Illinois with 31 points, eight assists and six rebounds on Friday night
“Jason Preston, this is high school now, he’s living in Orlando with his mom’s best friend’s son in an apartment. He’s 6 foot tall, 140 pounds as a senior in high school averaging just two points per game. He was going to UCF, just as a student. He wasn’t going to play ball.”
“He goes to prep school. They have four teams. The A team is the best team, the B team is basically just the guys at the Y playing ball. He goes to the C team, plays well. They move him to the B team, still plays well. Pushes him to the A team. But he goes back to the C team, posts a triple double…makes his own highlight tape. Puts the highlight tape on Twitter. It got him an offer from Ohio and Longwood.”
A shot of reality: 20 days of fantasy and failure: Inside Trump’s quest to overturn the election
Here’s an amazing look at the post-election fallout from inside the White House following the President’s electorial defeat. The Washington Post only spoke with 32(!) senior administration officials for this piece. There are plenty of jaw-dropping quotes here, and I’d suggest you read the entire thing. Here’s a perfect distillation of this administration:
The 20 days between the election on Nov. 3 and the greenlighting of Biden’s transition exemplified some of the hallmarks of life in Trump’s White House: a government paralyzed by the president’s fragile emotional state; advisers nourishing his fables; expletive-laden feuds between factions of aides and advisers; and a pernicious blurring of truth and fantasy.
The piece details how Trump empowered loyalists willing to tell him what he wanted to hear. The ending was entirely predictable.
The effort culminated Nov. 19, when lawyers Rudolph W. Giuliani, Jenna Ellis and Sidney Powell spoke on the president’s behalf at the headquarters of the Republican National Committee to allege a far-reaching and coordinated plot to steal the election for Biden. They argued that Democratic leaders rigged the vote in a number of majority-Black cities, and that voting machines were tampered with by communist forces in Venezuela at the direction of Hugo Chávez, the Venezuelan leader who died seven years ago.
There was no evidence to support any of these claims.
The Venezuelan tale was too fantastical even for Trump, a man predisposed to conspiracy theories who for years has feverishly spread fiction. Advisers described the president as unsure about the latest gambit — made worse by the fact that what looked like black hair dye mixed with sweat had formed a trail dripping down both sides of Giuliani’s face during the news conference. Trump thought the presentation made him “look like a joke,” according to one campaign official who discussed it with him.
When things looked worst for the President, he doubled down.
The strategy, according to a second senior administration official, was, “Anyone who is willing to go out and say, ‘They stole it,’ roll them out. Rudy Giuliani, Jenna Ellis, Sidney Powell. Send [former acting director of national intelligence] Ric Grenell out West. Send [American Conservative Union Chairman] Matt Schlapp somewhere. Just roll everybody up who is willing to do it into a clown car, and when it’s time for a press conference, roll them out.”
There’s an entire book to be written about this lame-duck period. Thank God this is almost over.
Recipe Corner
Baked Trout With Caper Salsa
I feel like I’ve been in full holiday-eating mode for the past two weeks. Leftover turkey sandos, dessert after every dinner, and lots of Shiner Cheer.
Time to lighten things up this week (before we get to the December holidays). Let’s start with a nice, easy piece of fish. Serve this with a salad and some veg, please.
For the trout
4 (4 1/2- to 5-1/2 ounce) fresh trout fillets, or any other firm, white-fleshed fish, such as sea bass
1/4 teaspoon kosher salt
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil
8 thin lemon slices from 1 large lemon
For the caper salsa
2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
3 shallots (about 7 ounces total), thinly sliced
4 cloves garlic, thinly sliced
1/4 cup (1 3/4 ounces) drained capers
3 tablespoons unsalted butter
1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
1 teaspoon grated lemon zest
1/4 teaspoon kosher salt
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
Chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley leaves, for serving (optional)
Roast the fish on the middle rack of the oven for 12 to 15 minutes at 325.
While the fish is baking, place a saucepan over medium-high heat, then heat the oil until shimmering. Add the shallots and garlic and cook, stirring constantly until they soften, 2 to 3 minutes. Add the capers, stir and cook, stirring constantly, until the shallots just begin to darken, about 2 minutes. Add the butter and stir until melted. Remove from the heat, and stir in the lemon juice and zest. Season with the salt and pepper.
Enjoy.
Headline of the Week
Canadian officials warn drivers not to let moose lick their cars
Micah’s Read of the Week always looks out for our Canadian readers. Check out this lede:
Canadians, officials have an important message for you: "Do not let moose lick your car."
Yes, you read that right.
Officials in Jasper, an alpine town in Canada's Alberta province, have put up signs asking motorists to avoid allowing moose to lick the salt, a treat moose find hard to resist, off their cars.
"They're obsessed with salt, it's one of the things they need for the minerals in their body," Jasper National Park spokesman Steve Young told CNN. "They usually get it from salt lakes in the park, but now they realized they can also get road salt that splashes onto cars."
Be safe out there.
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