Micah's Read of the Week, Vol. 78
Why you don’t need a detox juice cleanse, the TikTok Couch Guy, New Yorker Cartoon of the Week, Recipe Corner, and more.
Hello, and welcome to Micah’s Read of the Week.
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No, you don’t need a detox juice cleanse. Here’s why.
We all feel like shit right now. The new year is already 24 days old, and I still feel full from Christmas and New Year’s. So should we consider a juice cleanse?
According to this article, the answer is no. Check this lede:
If you indulged more than usual over the holidays, you may wonder whether a New Year’s detox is a good idea. Bold advertisements claim that detox juice concoctions can help you lose weight, cut cravings, boost metabolism and eliminate toxins, all of which sound appealing. But do detoxes really produce these impressive results? Of course not. There’s nothing magical about drinking expensive juice made from cucumbers, celery, lemon, parsley or whichever other herbs, vegetables and fruits are tossed in.
We all inhale and ingest toxins from our environment. Of course, we want to get rid of them. But the juice cleanse isn’t the way to do it.
These can come from air pollution, cigarette smoke, household cleaners, alcohol and ultra-processed foods. But we expel most toxins naturally, through sweat, breath, urine and feces, rendering detox products unnecessary.
So if detox treatments are unnecessary, how do we reset our bodies to feel better? Mostly doing the boring healthy lifestyle things we ignore over the holidays.
Even though the body is self-detoxing, you can support these efforts by eating a balanced diet and reducing exposure to known toxins. That includes limiting ultra-processed foods and alcohol, drinking more water, eating protein-rich foods, and getting sufficient fiber from vegetables, fruits, nuts and beans.
“I tell my students that a true detox comes with learning to cook a diet that’s rich in whole grains, fruits, vegetables, beans and lentils, seafood and oils, accompanied by daily exercise and a good night’s sleep,” said Thomas Sherman, a professor in the Department of Pharmacology and Physiology at Georgetown University School of Medicine in Washington.
I’d imagine Thomas is probably no fun at cocktail parties.
Of course, like so much in the wellness space, it’s just a grift.
Detox ads often promote the removal of “toxins” but don’t specify which ones. Pesticides? Bisphenol A? Phthalates? You can’t set up a clinical study to test for “toxin removal” if you don’t name the toxin (and injecting toxins into subject’s bodies would hardly be ethical), so the idea remains neither proved nor disproved. It’s a dream scenario for deceptive marketing.
I reached out to a dozen companies and practitioners who promote detox diets to ask which toxins are targeted, what proof they have that the toxins are removed, and if they have any clinical studies to back this up. None shared any proof of efficacy.
If there is little-to-no scientific evidence that detox diets work, why is it still a multibillion-dollar industry?
“Detoxes appeal to our natural desire for a fresh, clean start, and the desire to ‘undo’ perceived transgressions,” said Rachael Hartley, a dietitian and nutrition therapist in Columbia, S.C. “Normal eating means sometimes eating in a less-than-balanced way, and there’s nothing you need to do to ‘undo’ that.”
Someone reading this is thinking “well, I do these and I feel rejuvenated. What’s the harm in that? Are detoxes safe to do occasionally?
“There’s a potential harm in taking poorly regulated supplements when you don’t know what’s in the bottle,” Ahuja added. “But with food products or juice, there’s unlikely to be harm.”
The author’s conclusion is clear though. Forget it.
So if you’re considering a cleanse, it makes more sense to establish a balanced eating plan to support your long-term health instead. And ignore the aggressive marketing that makes you feel like your body is filled with toxic sludge, because it’s not.
I’m the TikTok Couch Guy. Here’s What It Was Like Being Investigated on the Internet.
Remember this guy?
This is his story.
On Sept. 17, 2021, my long-distance girlfriend, Lauren, paid a surprise visit to me while a friend filmed my reaction. Three days later, she set the 19-second clip to a hokey Ellie Goulding song and posted it to roughly 200 TikTok followers. The first commenters—Lauren’s close friends—had positive things to say. But soon strangers—among whom the video was less well received—began commenting, criticizing my reaction time or my being seated on a couch next to friends who happened to be of the opposite sex. “Girl he ain’t loyal.” “Red flag! He didn’t get up off the couch and jump up and down in excitement.” “Bro if my man was on a couch full of girls IM WALKING BACK OUT THE DOOR.”
As comments accusing me of infidelity rolled in, the video quickly became the topic of fierce online debate, à la “The Dress.” I, an ordinary college sophomore, became TikTok’s latest meme: Couch Guy. TikTok users made parody videos, American Eagle advertised a no-effort Couch Guy Halloween costume, and Rolling Stone, E! Online, The Daily Show, and The View all covered the phenomenon. On TikTok, Lauren’s video and the hashtag #CouchGuy, respectively, have received more than 64 million and 1 billion views.
Congrats on going viral? Then things got personal.
While the Couch Guy meme was lighthearted on its surface, it turned menacing as TikTok users obsessively invaded the lives of Lauren, our friends, and me—people with no previous desire for internet fame, let alone infamy. Would-be sleuths conducted what Trevor Noah jokingly called “the most intense forensic investigation since the Kennedy assassination.” During my tenure as Couch Guy, I was the subject of frame-by-frame body language analyses, armchair diagnoses of psychopathy, comparisons to convicted murderers, and general discussions about my “bad vibes.”
At times, the investigation even transcended the digital world—for instance, when a resident in my apartment building posted a TikTok video, which accumulated 2.3 million views, of himself slipping a note under my door to request an interview. (I did not respond.) One viewer gleefully commented, “Even if this guy turned off his phone, he can’t escape the couch guy notifications,” a fact that the 37,600 users who liked it presumably celebrated too. Under another video, in which hall mates of mine promised to confront Couch Guy once they reached 1 million likes (they didn’t), a comment suggested that they “secretly see who’s coming and going from his place”—and received 17,800 approving likes. The New York Post reported on, and perhaps encouraged, such invasions of my privacy. In an article about the “frenzy … frantically trying to determine the identity” of the “mystery man” behind the meme, the Post asked, “Will the real ‘couch guy’ please stand up?” Meanwhile, as internet sleuths took to public online forums to sniff out my name, birthdate, and place of residence, the threat of doxxing loomed over my head.
Mercifully, the memedom has died down.
Interest in the Google search term “Couch Guy” peaked on Oct. 5—and I have come to tolerate looks of vague recognition and occasional selfie requests from strangers in public.
Despite the apparent decline in interest, this may be a sign of something more substantial. That is, that TikTok’s algorithm has an apparent tendency to present viral spectacles to a user base increasingly hungry for content to analyze forensically, there will inevitably be more Couch Guys in the future.
The sleuthing trend sweeping TikTok ramped up following the disappearance of the late Gabby Petito. As armchair TikTok sleuths flexed their investigative muscles, the app’s algorithm boosted content theorizing about what happened to Petito. It appears that a similar phenomenon occurred with my lower-stakes virality, as I found myself scrolling through countless tweets bemoaning the inescapability of “Couch Guy TikTok.”
Final words of wisdom from Couch Guy:
When they appear on your For You page, I implore you to remember that they are people, not mysteries for you to solve.
New Yorker Cartoon of the Week
Instagram Post of the Week
This post is about business.
Caitlin and I just returned from my company’s President's Club trip. The Leahy Lending team spent a week at the Grand Velas resort in Rivera Maya celebrating a record-setting year.
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Click HERE to schedule a risk-free mortgage consultation with me now. Or get started in just a few clicks at micahwiener.com.
It would be my pleasure to help you solidify your financial future in 2022. You don’t need 20% down, and you may be surprised by how much you can qualify for. Thanks again for your support.
Now, on to the recipes…
Recipe Corner
Slow-Roasted Fish With Chorizo and Chickpeas
We’re still trying to eat healthy-ish this January. How about an easy and elegant roasted fish recipe?
1 1/2 pounds firm white fish, such as halibut, cut into 4 portions
3 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil, divided, plus more for rubbing the fish and as needed
Fine salt
Freshly ground black pepper
4 ounces Spanish chorizo, casing removed, if necessary, and coarsely chopped
2 (15-ounce) cans chickpeas, drained and rinsed
3 tablespoons tomato paste
4 garlic cloves, thinly sliced
1 (4-ounce) jar sliced or diced pimentos, drained (or the equivalent amount of sweet roasted pepper)
1/2 cup water
1/2 cup (5 ounces) chopped roasted almonds
1 cup (1 ounce) coarsely chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley leaves and thin stems
1 tablespoon sherry vinegar
Position a rack in the middle of the oven and preheat to 325 degrees. Pat the fish dry, rub it with a little bit of oil and lightly season with salt and pepper.
In a large Dutch oven or oven-safe skillet over medium-high heat, heat 2 tablespoons of the oil until shimmering. Add the chorizo and cook, stirring occasionally, until crisp and brown, 2 to 3 minutes.
Stir in the chickpeas, tomato paste and garlic and cook, stirring, until the tomato paste is caramelized and a shade darker, 3 to 5 minutes. Add more oil if the pan seems dry. Remove from the heat and stir in the pimentos or roasted pepper and water, scraping up browned bits. Taste the chickpea mixture and season to taste with more salt and/or pepper, if desired.
Place the fish on top of the chickpea mixture, then transfer the Dutch oven or skillet to the oven. Roast for 15 to 20 minutes, or until the fish is opaque and cooked through.
Meanwhile, in a small bowl, stir together the almonds, parsley, sherry vinegar and the remaining 1 tablespoon of olive oil until combined.
Serve the fish from the skillet or portion onto plates. Before serving, sprinkle the almond-parsley mixture on top.
Oranges With Rosemary Honey, Ricotta and Hazelnuts
How’s this for a simple, healthy, and elegant dessert? It’s citrus szn.
3 tablespoons hazelnuts
1/4 cup honey
1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
1 small sprig fresh rosemary, plus more for serving
5 black peppercorns
4 medium oranges, ideally a mix of varieties such as navel, Cara Cara and blood oranges
1 cup (8 ounces) part-skim ricotta cheese
In a dry skillet over medium heat, toast the hazelnuts, stirring frequently, until fragrant and golden brown in spots, 3 to 5 minutes. Remove from the heat and let cool to the touch. Transfer to a clean kitchen towel or paper towel, fold the towel to cover, and roll the nuts inside the towel vigorously to remove any excess skins. It’s okay if some skins remain. Coarsely chop the nuts.
In a small saucepan over medium-low heat, combine the honey, lemon juice, rosemary and peppercorns and, using a wooden spoon, crush the rosemary leaves slightly to release their flavor. Remove from the heat and let steep for 10 minutes, then strain and discard the rosemary and peppercorns.
Trim the tops and bottoms off each orange, then place an orange onto one of its cut ends and use a knife to slice down along the curve of the fruit to remove the remaining peel and pith. Slice the orange crosswise into 1/4-inch thick rounds; repeat with the remaining oranges.
To serve, spread 1/4 cup of the ricotta onto each serving plate and top each with 6 or 7 orange slices. Drizzle each with 1 tablespoon of the infused honey and sprinkle with the hazelnuts, then serve.
Did Micah do Yoga this week?
No. We’re 2 for 3 this year. I’ll be back next week. I did go 7/7 on Wordle, so that’s something. Right?
More Micah
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