Micah's Read of the Week, Vol. 89
The hottest gift shop item at the Masters, Why McDonald’s looks sleek and boring now, the housing market, "Basketball hell," Crypto Corner, Recipe Corner, and more.
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Wanted: Masters gnomes. At Augusta National, people are losing their minds over them
Hello friends. Please enjoy your lede of the week:
AUGUSTA, Ga. — The line starts forming at 6 a.m., more than an hour before the merchandise store at Augusta National opened, and stretches all the way to the driving range several hundred yards away. The people waiting in it buzz with the kind of excitement that suggests something very important is awaiting them when those doors finally open.
A complimentary green jacket?
A chance to play the golf course?
A breakfast date with Tiger Woods?
No, no, no. Nothing that trivial. Most have arrived before the crack of dawn because they know it is their only shot to procure the most sought-after souvenir in golf right now. They are right, too. The shop sold out of them in 15 minutes on Monday. They had no way of knowing this, but in less than an hour, they would all be gone again.
Even so, there is a Black Friday level of urgency.
“My husband came for the golf,” a shopper named Cindy Nerola says, “I came for the gnome!”
Yes, that much-coveted souvenir is a garden gnome. Not any garden gnome, mind you. It is the Gallery Guard Gnome, the latest in a line of Masters gnomes that is only available this week. No one will say exactly how many are sold each day — the gnome quantity (ahem) is a closely guarded secret — but rumors outside the store put that number at 300.
There are at least twice that many of people in line.
“This is (bleeping) hopeless!” one man barks.
He is clearly a newbie. Most people waiting, however, are seasoned Masters shoppers. Some have purchased a practice-round ticket for no other reason than to come here — they won’t even take a peek at the azaleas and magnolias before dragging their wares back to the parking lot. Others carry lists of special requests from family, friends, neighbors.
Everyone — including your humble narrator — wants a damn gnome.
Why McDonald’s looks sleek and boring now
Your local McDonald’s probably looks a lot more like Starbucks than classic McDonaldland these days. What happened?
The muted colors, large glass windows, and overall boxy appearance of a modern McDonald’s are forgettable, and a far cry from the garish red-and-yellow buildings that many recall from their childhood.
Slowly but surely, fast food restaurants are giving up their once brand-defining facades to follow in the path of “fast casual” eateries like Chipotle, which have become much more popular over the years.
Characters such as Ronald McDonald and Grimace might seem dated now, but they at least provided an identity for the brand that was original and appealing — even if only to its target audience of children and parents.
“The original thought with restaurants like McDonald’s was to aim at a family audience, so you could get customers for life,” Moeller says. “That’s what drove the playgrounds and the toys, all very kid-friendly stuff. Over the past few years, they’ve decided to become more adult, with clean lines and colors that will appeal to you while you’re eating. No more of those hard chairs that are designed to get people up and out for the sake of throughput. They try to make it comfortable so older adults from 30 to 60 can go in and feel comfortable enjoying the fast food they grew up on but in a more welcoming environment.”
This visual homogenization — or Chipotle-fication, if you will — is marked by exposed lighting, comfortable seating, and antiseptic steel surfaces.
“One thing that I’ve learned in the industry is that fast food restaurants are essentially just designed in a lab to produce the biggest returns possible,” Coben says. “When I look at fast food restaurants today, that’s exactly what they look like. They’re soulless.... As an architect, it just seems unfortunate that these buildings don’t look interesting or reflect the concept of what the restaurant is about. Their idea of a concept is, ‘Oh, we want it to look clean.’ Well, a well-lit, antiseptic environment is not a concept. It’s just nonexistent.”
New Yorker Cartoon of the Week
Waiting on the Housing Market to Crash? Don’t, Experts Say.
Home prices are higher than they’ve ever been, and they show no signs of stopping.
The median U.S. home listing price was $405,000 in March 2022, the first time it’s broken the $400,000 price threshold, according to data from Realtor.com. That is an increase of 26.5% over two years.
So should we just wait for the market to crash? It’s a bubble, right? Not according to experts.
“There’s not really any room for there to be a bubble right now. It’s not like people have borrowed too much and it’s not like homes are overvalued,” says Daryl Fairweather, chief economist at Redfin.
So what does this mean for you?
If you don't yet own a home, you should move quickly. Between demand, rising interest rates, and record-low inventory, it's never been more important to be prepared when the right deal comes along.
Take the first step and get pre-approved today. Schedule a free call with Micah right here or get started now at micahwiener.com.
Thank you.
Back to the read…
‘Basketball Hell’: How Vivek Ranadive turned Sacramento Kings into NBA’s biggest losers
Here’s a good story about a failing business. As with most failing businesses, it all starts at the top.
Sixteen years of failure have given the Sacramento Kings ample time to amass a stunning record of futility spanning two ownership groups, four general managers, 11 coaches, countless players and a whole new generation of fans who have never experienced winning basketball in Sacramento. Heads have rolled and blame has fallen on numerous players, coaches and front office executives, but one man, more than any other, has become the face of the longest playoff drought in NBA history: Kings owner and chairman Vivek Ranadive.
“I’ve been in the room with Vivek during draft time,” a former member of the team’s basketball operations staff told The Sacramento Bee, speaking on condition of anonymity for fear of reprisals. “I’ve been on conference calls with him around the trade deadline. I think, like any successful business or organization, a lot of this stuff starts at the top.
You don’t fail 16 years in a row without a multitude of problems. The Kings fired two coaches this year, and next year, players will be answering to their fourth head coach in five seasons.
In the end, it all comes down to failures at the top of the organization.
“In an ideal situation, you hire someone you feel is qualified. You do your homework on them and then you trust that person is capable of doing the job. It’s one thing to be a fan and want to be involved from afar, but I think when you are meddling in decisions, I think the problem is you have an owner who’s too involved.”
NBA legend Jerry West once said: “The lifeblood of any NBA team is the draft.” Hiring the correct personnel is important in any business, and the Kings have been notoriously bad in that regard. Like, shockingly bad. You don’t have to be an NBA die-hard to see the mistakes on the list below:
From 2011-14, they selected Jimmer Fredette, Thomas Robinson, Ben McLemore and Nik Stauskas when they could have chosen the likes of Klay Thompson, Kawhi Leonard, Damian Lillard and C.J. McCollum. Then, in 2018, they chose Bagley over Doncic.
So what’s it really like being a part of the worst organization in all of American sports?
The source described a “toxic” work environment in which “people don’t trust each other” and “they are thirsty to get any advantage or any promotion they can.” He borrowed a line from former Kings forward Rudy Gay, saying: “It’s basketball hell.”
Crypto Corner
Here are a couple of wild stories about communities that welcomed crypto mining. Both quickly grew to regret the decision.
This Texas Town Was Deep In Debt From A Devastating Winter Storm. Then A Crypto Miner Came Knocking.
A 2021 winter storm overwhelmed Denton's power grid, pushing the city into crushing debt. Then a faceless company arrived with a promise to refill its coffers — and double its energy use.
An Appalachian town was told a bitcoin mine would bring an economic boom. It got noise pollution and an eyesore.
Supporters of the crypto plant promised an expanded tax base and job creation. What residents say they got was the constant din from massive computers and equally massive cooling fans.
Recipe Corner
Let’s get healthy this week. The first two recipes work with some interchangeable ingredients. So make a double batch of quinoa, or your grain of choice.
SWEET POTATO & QUINOA SALAD WITH TAHINI DRESSING
1 large sweet potato cut into ¾-inch pieces (about 2 ½ cups)
½ teaspoon dried thyme
½ teaspoon ground cinnamon
¼ teaspoon ground nutmeg
Drizzle of olive oil plus 1 tablespoon for onions or coconut aminos
Salt & freshly ground black pepper to taste
1 cup uncooked quinoa rinsed
2 medium yellow onions sliced thinly into rings
For the tahini dressing:
⅓ cup tahini
3 tablespoons fresh lemon juice about 1 large lemon
1 tablespoon Dijon mustard
1 tablespoon maple syrup
1 garlic clove
Salt & black pepper to taste
Other:
2 packed cups arugula
½ cup cashews or to taste
Preheat the oven to 425ºF. Line a large rimmed baking sheet with a silicone mat or use a nonstick sheet.
Roast the sweet potato: Transfer the sweet potato to the prepared baking sheet. Add the thyme, cinnamon, nutmeg, salt, and pepper. Drizzle with olive oil and toss to coat evenly with the oil and seasoning. Roast for about 20 minutes, or until fork tender, tossing halfway.
Cook the quinoa: Transfer the quinoa with 2 cups water to a medium saucepan. Bring to a boil before reducing the heat. Simmer covered for 15 minutes. Remove from the heat and set aside.
Cook the onions: Meanwhile, cook the onions. Heat 1 tablespoon olive oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. (Or add 1 tablespoon coconut aminos with the onions.) Cook the onions for about 20 minutes, or until golden brown, stirring occasionally. Drizzle with more coconut aminos and cook for 1 minute more (optional).
Prepare the dressing: Meanwhile, to a medium jar, add the tahini, lemon juice, Dijon, maple syrup, and ⅓ cup water. Grate the garlic into the jar using a microplane or fine grater. Place the lid on the jar and shake vigorously until the ingredients are well combined. Add salt and pepper.
Assemble for serving: Use a fork to fluff the quinoa. Transfer the quinoa to a large bowl. Mix in the arugula. Add the sweet potato, onions, and cashews and mix to combine. Drizzle with the desired amount of tahini dressing for serving.
Toasted Garlic Chicken and Rice
1 1/2 pounds boneless, skinless chicken breasts or thighs, cut into bite-size pieces
Fine salt
Finely ground black pepper
1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil
5 ounces baby spinach (5 cups)
2 tablespoons salted or unsalted butter, plus more if needed
1 head garlic, peeled, minced, pressed or grated
2 cups cooked long-grain white rice
1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese, for serving, plus more if needed
Set a large platter near the stove.
Pat the chicken dry and lightly season it with salt and pepper. In a large, nonstick skillet over high heat, heat the olive oil until shimmering. Add the chicken pieces in one layer, cooking in batches if necessary, and cook, stirring, until cooked through and browned, about 6 minutes. Transfer to the platter, and cover with another platter or the lid of a pot to keep warm. Add the spinach to the skillet and cook, stirring frequently, until just wilted, about 2 minutes. Transfer to the platter with the chicken.
Reduce the heat to medium-high, add the butter and garlic and cook, stirring frequently, until just lightly brown, about 1 minute. Add the rice and stir until garlic is mixed in. Increase the heat to high, spread the rice on the bottom of the pan and cook without moving until the rice just begins to crisp on the bottom, about 3 minutes. Transfer the spinach and chicken to the skillet and lightly toss together until well mixed. Taste, and add more butter, salt and pepper, as needed.
Divide among four plates or shallow bowls and top each bowl with the Parmesan, serving more Parmesan tableside, if desired.
Did Micah practice yoga this week?
Yes. 60 minutes Sunday at Black Swan Yoga with Caitlin.
That’s 13 in-person weekend classes in 14 weeks this year. Namaste.
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